Coming to the post title, I really wanna know... Dil Kya Chahata Hai. About me, deep down I vaguely know wot I want from life but the problemo is that my parents particularly my Dad is not so sure about wants, when it comes to his darling daughter.
P.S.: For those of you judge-mental types who just considered me as the Little Miss Ungrateful, Public Blog Pe Dad ki Burai karne wali Chudail; I have news for you... I don't care wot you or anybody else says. I'm frustrated, mera blog hai, meri marzi hai, padhna hai to padho warna do wot Komal Chautala most lovingly says (or advises).
I'm a 22 year old working woman (I love calling myself that), who successfully graduated and unsuccessfully gained a PGD for/ of an industry which pays lower than the amount paid to a local mistry working on a construction site in You Ass of Aeyee!!! I know that I need approx. 2 years of work experience, above average/high scores in GMAT n TOEFL/ IELTS to gain admission in a good B-School offering Masters in Finance Administration/ Management and also sufficient (lots of actually) money to apply for an education loan to study MBA. The education loan that need, applied not by my Dad, but by me.
The other 2 requirements will be faced in due course of time, but about the one regarding the Work Ex, shouldn't my work ex be w.r.t. a job/profile that I like and also justifies my qualification???
But my Dad n I beg to differ (thats euphemistic on my part) at the last clause and that is the sole source of inspiration to me for typing this post (that perhaps nobody may read), at this hour with as painful eyes as that of inmates of the Concentration Camps.
About my work ex details, I previously worked (or as I thought I did) in a place where my boss was just as nice as Dolores Umbridge was to apna Harry Potter (Yeah I'm obsessed with the HP books). So the poor innocent (also read stupid) me had to quit the job with a multitude of regrets along (not about leaving the job but about being so stupid).
But I trust, it was not an extraordinary thing as the Hailey's comet was/ is/ wotevr!!! Many people get fooled at work/ in the world. But the trick is to learn from mistakes and not repeat 'em. Fine..... Agreed... Not found any argument against that. Now I work at a place that neither offers the brand association that I seek nor a great remuneration nor Saturdays off (as I desperately want). Wot it offers is a good profile and I believe that would be integral (hopefully) when I apply to the B Schools of my choice.
Coming to the problem (finally !!!) Dad's unsurity about my career. Like I mentioned, "we beg to differ". Since my return back home, with the unsuccessfully gained PGD, Dad's been advising me to change to more easily identified Cos. So much that I even forcefully (after a big family episode of tu-tu-main-main, emotions, drama, tears, anger, etc) answered a stupid test that I neither had chances nor inclination to pass just to change to a more recognizable job, even if it means NO JOB SATISFACTION, the label of a JOB HOPPER, and joining a job for which I am overqualified. Never really thought I'd say that.
Dad k 5 khawab about his delicate darling daughter:
1)Join SBI ka PO or any other bank
2) Ditto (1)
3) Marry someone from the Health-care Industry (preferably Doctor) since both will be from the same profession (Completely diverse from the previous mentioned khwaabs). Also continue in the same industry since it will go into the boom phase soon.
4) if 3rd is to be achieved then continue in the same industry and do MBA from a foreign university
5) Pursue MBA in Finance from a foreign university (Again Contradicting to Khawab #4)
Even though he fantasizes fulfillment of one or more of the mentioned khwaabs, I don’t remember him ever asking me about wot I desire to do amongst the ones mentioned, though I have made myself clear about pursuing the 5th one to which he agrees (dunno by how many percentages).
More so like the typical fathers of under-aged girls, from the villages of UP, Bihar, Haryana, Rajasthan, etc who marry off their girls to men older than themselves, considering it to be best in the interests of the daughters, oblivious to wot she really wants.
So how am I to be termed as an EDUCATED WORKING WOMAN if I am not allowed to think for myself, decide the course of my future and laugh over my mistakes- ready to make new ones; if terms are dictated by my father, clearly without my consent or desire?
Why is it, that my father wants me to be everyone from Kalpana Chawala to Sania Mirza to Kiran Bedi to Indira Nooyi, but just me? Why is it that I am not allowed to use my brain, without reluctance from him, to the best of my knowledge? Lastly, why do I get the replies to all these questions as “You have turned more arrogant and egoistic since you started working!!!”???? (reversions from both Mom and Dad, who unite like USA & UK on such issues).
I guess these questions to me are just as many of those questions to scientists all over the world, which make them spend sleepless nights in the fascinating (mind-numbing to mediocres like us) laboratories and find vague plus tricky or even wrong answers to which earn them rewards that the common man could never hear of.
Weather they sleep or not, I don’t care. I will sleep now, looking forward to more rows of arguments, wasted emotions and sentimental blackmailing by me, mom and of-course dad about Me, Myself and My Career or Careers- Another “inspired” phrase.
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