Where or How do i draw the line????

All those who suddenly remembered and intended to introduce me to the wonderful tools called pencil (perhaps pen), a scale or a piece or paper, have the best chances of making it into the corridors and seats of the Indian Parliament. Laalu k saath chaara khane, dabaane n bin dakaar k hazam kar jane k phaarmula seekhne k mast chances hai. Gattu style wale mast!!!

But for all those, who have succeeded in following my trail of thoughts, I really wanna know, How, When and Where are people supposed to draw the line between being FRIENDS/ GOOD FRIENDS/ FLIRTS and LOVERS? How hard or easy is it to convince oneself or the other person (same or opposite sex, considering hum ek broad minded society mein rehne ki nakaamiyaab koshish kar rahe hai) that I like u (as a good friend) but don’t love u… hoping the “other person” will not be a lost friend by the end of the explanation.

Hoping that my blog’s readers (if any) would have realized that I am trying to find answers to questions, about situations not imagined but that which I have actually been in. To cut the crap, he was one of my best friends, without any second thoughts of being any other relation, even momentarily. Never imagined that such a wonderful and tranquilizing association would end up with such a magnitude of damage.

At the risks of sounding an absolute narcist, I don’t care if the entire episode hurt him or not. Point is that he hurt me INTENTIONALLY again and again and again and again. I was more or less a doormat full of filth from his shoes.

It’s not a sin to like someone and definitely not abnormal (in fact it is brave) to disclose such thoughts to the person in question. And I also believe that you are lucky to find another person who can help you through and through in winning over your love interest. But the worst can be- when you are a big, lousy (also fat, I love calling people fat, since I neither am nor have any remote chances of being fat) coward if:

a) You cannot express your feelings to your “love interest”

b) You start avoiding him/her so that you can get over him/her

c) Lastly, you are a big creep if you start using the helpful friend (as mentioned above) as a rebound.

These are the exact things, what “Mon Ami” (I recently started learning French to show off karma compulsory hai) did.

Kindly (a word, I use quite frequently ever since I entered the corporate world) try and imagine what kind of a messed up situation the helpful friend (me of course- who else, Einstein??)is in and sympathize with me (and find me a good lawyer) if I end up behind the bars (jail bewakuf- 5 star nahi) for killing my ex best friend no. 5.

I never imagined single-hood can be so dangerous and demanding to turn one wild and desperate to find a “love interest”, probably to convince oneself ki main bhi mard cum chick magnet hu (murgi k bachcho ki baat nahi kar rahi hu main). But then again, I am no JK Rowling. In fact even the inspiration and imagination to type this useful and pivotal blog was…. not my brainchild but that of another fellow nameless, faceless blogger plus my best friend no. 1 (yes, I have many best friends, all numbered in order of them associating with me- as friends not what a perfectly normal and chaste pervert would think).

I mean look at me…. [Matlab imagine my situation, not ki deede phaad phaad k meri taraf ghooro as if I am the first alien from the moon (presence claimed by none other than Aaj Tak- Sabse Tez) who visited the earth to catch a glimpse of Govinda in Hatya.] I am 22, single, a working woman (sounds flattering) who plans to build a career by making money for the extremely disorganized (sachchi.. kasam se… apne Papa se pooch) Indian Healthcare Industry.

Mera bhi man karta hai ki baaki sundar and susheel ladakiyon ki tarah mera 1 boyfriend ho jo mujhe roz Mercedes mein ghumaaye, mujhe Leela and Taj mein lunch karaye, L’Oreal k cosmetics dilaye aur mere saare nakhre utthaye. Bas… itna sa khwaab hai. But filhaal ye DDLJ ki Lajo k wo sapne hai jo dekhe to ja sakte hai par unke poore hone ki sharat nahi lagaye ja sakti (lagi 5-500 ki???), at least zindagi k agle haseen 3-4 hardwork se bhare saalon tak.

But do I find myself seducing my friends to get a sure shot beau???? Honestly, NO!!!! To a small extent, I am aware (not Sure… but aware, over confident thode hi hu) about how n where I intend to reach, to be content in life.

Zindagi mein pyaar zaruri hai, but not at the cost of friendship. Friendship is as important (if not more) as love. SRK and KJ jaise useless; but rich log bhi yahi kehte hai.

I admit.... I miss him. He, who was my friend, but could never have been my Romeo or My Knight in the Shining Armor. I miss the endless conversations; the spontaneous and entertaining fights, the accusations and the affection (not love).

Like many others, even I carry a set framework of my better half and yes …. He wasn’t qualified enough. Plus I’m not desperate to catch hold of anyone around and start an affair.

All in all, the only 3 regrets are- to trust an acquaintance to be a friend, to let him hurt me… to not have realized, when, where and how; I should/ could have drawn the line.

(And a desire- I wish I could find him and pay some bhaade ke tattoos, a hefty sum as a supari to have him hung over hungry sharks, in any ocean possible)!!!!