In Pursuit of Happiness…..

I had long ago (probably in my previous life when I had something called A JOB with me) read a quote on my Boss’s desk’s notice board which meant something like people keep mentioning about pursuit of happiness although happiness cannot be looked for but has to be lived with (some such unnecessary bull*%$&) [bhai censored site hai bachche aur boodho ka khayal rakhna padta hai, others will follow what I mean].

I for one, completely agree with the inventor (or is discoverer….???? who cares) of this phrase (made more popular by Will Smith n others associated with the classic). I still remember that one evening when I wanted to kill some more time in Pune, my friend (who I call Dada) had dragged me to see this movie (mera 1^st time and his 2^nd and I was surprised at Dada’s disclosure). Happiness is always pursued but never actually found. Seldom or more so Never will you come across an individual who is completely happy and satisfied with the way things are happening at his/ her end. (Saints became extinct from average human reach long ago).

HUMAN WANTS ARE UNLIMITED. These golden words were the first things that I learnt in my 1^st class of commerce (approximately 10 years ago). We always look back at time and sigh…. Boy! Those days were the Best!!! I’d trade anything today to get back my Yesterdays….. Even if, those days were the most dreadful ones when they were The Present. But never ever are we fully satisfied with the way things are going on. We always complain, without realizing how precious the reasons for grumbling could be. I had a lot to grumble about when I was in school or when I was in college or when I was working or when I was in Bangalore but gradually as and how I separated myself from my school, college, workplace and my favorite city; I realized that I wanted and loved all those moments spent in these places and how much I have craved for them, ever since I realized how important they were.

Life has always brought abrupt changes for me, and I have always acted upon impulse. That is the reason why I am a miserable planner and a worse implementer. I plan a lot but fail at implementing. Like for now…. At this moment I’m supposed to be the good girl, burning the midnight oil “STUDYING”. But here I’m typing random crap which people would hardly read unless promised monetary pleasures!!!!

So the point of typing my thoughts into words is that no matter how hard one would try to Pursue Happiness, one would seldom get it unless one Sits Down and gives Happiness a Thought.

When have been the times when I have found Happiness???? The evenings whenever me n Bhai have had arguments about the most absurd things in life. He and I calling each other names, like kids from Kinder Garden. Teasing each other and getting teased at the same time. Spending time chatting/ talking/ being with my dearest friends even if that involves steering away through mundane as well as rough weekdays only to find those few moments of the weekend by sharing coffee, seeing a movie, discussing everything and nothing, exchanging IMs. Attending drab classes about words that sound like phlegm. Talking to Mom about people, things, sharing smiles and laughs. Playing chess with Dad, watching discussions on TV with some or made up interest. Spending time with my 2 Angel nieces who I call my Princesses.

There are so many moments, so many times which have given me Happiness without me trying hard to pursue it. Yet, off late, there has been a void which needs to be filled. This void has made me vulnerable, irritable, hopeless and even bitter. Life has become a long pause with somethings to look forward to in future but with vacant stretches of time in the present.

Old Habits Die Hard and Old Desires are Seldom Forgotten. All I ask for is better times than now. People wish for time to spare I wish for time to be spent. People want to be free, I want to be busy. These days of futility have helped me realize which my greatest happiness is. Although the above mentioned moments are a treasure to me, yet I have always found content in being BUSY and that is all what I desire now.

Happiness will Always be Pursued but to be CONTENT, I want to be busy. So, waiting to be content…….